Big daddy

Braden is 12 days old. He sleeps much of the time (except between midnight and 3 am, during this time he screams). I worry about pretty much everything he does... as well as everything he doesn't do. I have read a lot of material during the pregnancy and over the last few days. However, I still have so many questions that go unaswered. I feel pretty confident that I'll do ok as a father, it's all of the stuff that I can't control that worry me. I'm not too excited about going back to work, I'd much rather stay home and watch my son grow, but we have to keep paying the bills.

In just 12 days I have already seen changes in him. He is more alert every day. He makes a lot better eye contact now. He'll lay and stare at your face for 15 min sometimes. He can lift up his head and look around when he's on his belly (although only briefly before he plants his face into whatever he's laying on). He makes more faces than he used to and can smile (though people say it's just gas). The sleep sacrifice has been well worth the entertainment value of living with a newborn.

We took him to get his picture taken last Friday.

ANTI-Ad: JCPenney portrait studio...not the best.

Anyway, it was fun to take him out to the mall and walk around. He did well. It seems that Graco puts some kind of tranquilizer in the fabric of their car seats because Braden falls asleep pretty much as soon as you put him into it. I've included a few more pictures for your viewing pleasure.

Praise God.

These are some of Braden's coming home pictures. [Going in clockwise order] The first is just after we got him dressed in his own clothes for the first time. The second and third are Just after we walked in the door and unloaded everything. The last picture here is just cute!He is doing very well so far. He likes to be up and screaming from about 1:30 am to 5:30 am or so. Needless to say this intereferes with what we used to refer to as "sleep." We are trying to catch up a little while he sleeps during the day, especially after that crucial 6:00 am point.

Visitors are still very welcome. Afternoon or evenings are the best (we generally sleep most of the morning hours).

I'll tell you one iteresting (perhaps bizzare or psychotic would be better adjectives) story. After we got up to our room in the hospital and they brought Braden to us; I sat there looking at him and had a brief but strange scenario play out in my mind. I was pondering the security precautions at the hospital and imagined that for some reason or another, a person tried to come and take Braden from me. Following this horrific thought I ran through various techniques I could utilize to kill a man without harming a baby in his arms...... Yep, I was seriously running through martial arts tricks in my head that were specially developed by ancient samuri daddys to protect their offspring. As I caught myself thinking these things I felt quite justified in my homocidal ideation. Good thing I'm off work for a couple weeks, they might not let me leave.

The lesson to be learned from this... If after only knowing my child for 2 hours I would be willing to entertain the thought of killing for him. How much greater is the love and passion of God who has known us, his children, far more intimately than I will ever know Braden? Furthermore, to sacrifice His Son for the rest of the world would be unfathomable. God is great.

Praise God.